Bon Jovi's Opinion Of Uncle Gerry's Show

Deer Gerry, on banked holiday Monday the rain was pissi--pouring down, so me and my Sun Bon Jovi sat on too three legged stools two listen too your show. I roared and laughed and slapped my plump, maidenly knee, but Bon Jovi sat as still and as silent as the Spinx. "You never laughed Bon Jovi" I said "I thought you liked Gerry". "Of course I like Uncle Gerry" said the cub, "Uncle Gerry is a riter and a broadcaster, I was using the show as a form of headucation. I two may be a riter and a broadcaster, so I was picking up some tips". I marvelled again at the ambition that dwelt in that large, cannon-ball head. "How did Uncle Gerry do?" I asked. Bon Jovi crossed wan dirty and grazed knee over the other and said, "Quite good. I was impressed by his diction". "What's-diction Bon Jovi?" I asked "Diction" said Bon Jovi, "well, it's the foundation of speech. If your diction is up the Swanny, no wan no's what you're talking about". "What else did you like about Gerry" I said throwing too turf on too the fire and blowing my nose on the hem of my skirt. "I greatly admired Uncle Gerry's use of-nuance" said the cub. "What in under God is-nuance?" I said "Bon Jovi sighed and replied, "Nuance, is a delicate or subtle degree, or shade of difference. Imagine you were painting a barn door puce, you mite want too add a nuance of burnt umber two bring out the Hi-lites". "What will your books be about Bon Jovi" I asked. "The subjects wool be many and varied" said the cub and I plan to bring them out in trilogys of four" The cub looked at me and said, "If you're good and behave yourself, I mite well rite a book about you!". I clasped my hands too my bleezing face and cried. "Oh Bon Jovi wood you? And what wood the book be called?" Bon Jovi leant back, went into a state of 50% pondering and 50% ruminating and said. "I shall call the book, "The woman who made me the man I am today". "And how many books do you plan two rite Sun?" I asked "57" said Bon Jovi, "Yes, 57, if it was good enough for Heinz, it's good enough for me". "And tell me Bon Jovi" I said "What wool you do when you have the 57 books wrotten?" Bon Jovi looked at me with contempt and said, "What a stupid, ass-in-ine question. When I have rote my 57 books, I wool sit down on an armchair and reed them of course". I felt so--stupid. So stupid, thick and old. You no you're cubs growing up when he makes a complete fool of you, like what Bon Jovi just done to me. But just think.....

Bon Jovi Ryan, Author. And too think he sprang from my fruitfull lions!!!