French Chic Hits Clougher

Deer Gerry, your presant wife and female listeners mite like to no that "French Chic" on Clougher Hi-Street have got in a lovely range of Moo-Moo dresses.
Some lovely pasturised colours Gerry.
Ranging from egg shell white to a beguiling pale puce.
I was smitten by a little primrose yella number with a slit up the back so you kan throw your feet out in komfort. Auld Nellie Granite was lumbering about like a heffer in the changing room. Trying too cram her Winter blubber into a pale mauve dress with seen's from the book of Kells painted on it.
The weeman of Clougher were swarming over the Moo-Moo's like veritable locusts.
Insults and indeed, thumps were exchanged.
In fact passions soared to such a height. That hob- nailed boots were swung with venom and feces brusted at the fashionable haute couture swaree in the Clougher branch of, "French Chic".
I myself had reason to nock wee Mary Ann Dumplin on the broad of her back when she jundied into me like an auld buck goat.
Nickers Gerry. Nickers in profussion hang from the roof of "French Chic" like Kristmas decorations.
When the big nicker lorry drove into Clougher. Weeman chased it down the street like wild, feral beasts.
Because of the wild bad Winter. Clougher suffered from a nicker drought. Now, thank goodness, Clougher has nickers in abundance.
Dirty auld brutes of men, stood with their noses pressed up against the window of "French Chic" hoping for a quick flash.
They got know quick flash from me Gerry. I tried the knew nickers on over my old nickers.
I deceided on a pear of green flannel nickers by "Desiree". "Desiree" is one of the top nickers houses in Taiwain. They use industrial elastic and all gussets are reinforced with a cradle of fibre glass.
Desiree nickers are strong yet functional Gerry.
You could leap a five bar gate without a creak from the expanding gusset. They come with a life time guarantee and a small allen key to make slight adjustments to the revolutionary space age gusset.
Gerry, if you are looking to stock up with some knew mail nickers. Do knot come too Clougher.
Men's nickers have lagged behind in Clougher.
Clougher may be a seething cauldren of fashion when it comes too weeman's nickers.
But alas, and indeed, alac, grey long johns with a flap at the back or the order of the day for the men of Clougher. The Clougher men have rejected Y-fronts, boxers and jocky shorts. The men of Clougher cling to their dirty grey long johns like veritable clams.
So Gerry, when making plans too replenish your stach of mail manly nickers. Count Clougher out.
I sincerely hope you are knot running low on cloathing for the under-carriage. I could send you few pears of my old bloomers. If you care too send a van up too kollect them. Air them first Gerry before putting then on.
Hang them over the big ornate gate at the front of your house. Blessed is she who cloathes the naked and she is.
ROSIE RYAN XXX