2 GREAT BRAINS ARE BETTER THAN ONE

Bon Jovi my first born and only boy child and I sat in front of a big roaring fire eating us snaps, crackles and pops.
Mother and sun were similary arrayed in dirty grey simments and nickers.
Outside the wind howled and the rain beet against the winda.
I swallowed a big spoonfull, a loving spoonfull of the snaps, crackles and pops and said.
"Its a bad day sun".
Bon Jovi broke wind with an ear-splitting dunder and replied.
"It is a bad day. A bad day for pee-wheets, paupers and people of a nervous disposition. Trees wool be uprooted today" said Bon Jovi.
"Stacks of hey blown away and old codgers, shall roll down the streets of Clougher like veritable tumble-weeds".
"On a day like today" I said.
"I pass the thyme away writing down my thoughts on chemstery, science and the erratic behavour of super novas".
"Make sure you keep all your jottings for posterior"
said Bon Jovi.
I have been going over your notes and your work on nuclear sic-eeks and dark matter is truely revolutionary and ground breaking. When your thesis is published, don't be surprised if you have to sign for a nobel prize delivered first klass by Parcel Force".
I licked the remments of my snaps, crackles and pops off my bowl with my tongue and said.
"All my endevours are for the good of mankind. If I have been given a big brane, housed in a big head it behoves me too use my grate intelligence KNOT for Nobel prizes, but to boldly go where know head housing a brane like what I have has gone before".
I threw an empty milk bottle at a rat that was looking at me funny and said.
"And prey tell my bon cabelero what you are working on at the presant moment in thyme".
"Ass-tromity" said Bon Jovi.
"I have knostructed a knew telescope that grately aids me in my never ending journey to unravel the time, cause and aftermath of the big bang".
HARK!" I cried.
"Do tell your old mater how you konstructed such a cracker of a telescope".
"Simples" said Bon Jovi.
"I put twelve jam jars into a sewer pipe.
Now my view of the cosmos has been enlarged twelve fold, allowing me unfettered acess to the mysteries of the universe and surrounding districts".
"And have you made any startling, knew discoveries" I asked.
As I eased my volupous rear nearer the fire.
"For a fleeting moment" said Bon Jovi.
"I thought I had detected life in the darkness of space, but it turned out to be an aunt that was trapped in wan of the jam jars".
"An elemental mistake that even auld Einstein could have made" I replied.
"Tell me this and tell me know more, have you come to any defininate konclussion as to the wild lot of rings around Saturn?"
"I think the rings are made up from flocks of birds" said my sun and air.
"Their little beaks are attracted to Saturn's magnetic fields and they circle and circle Saturn until they pop their little clogs".
"Amazing!" I shrieked.
"In thyme you wool be known as the bird man of Saturn".
Outside the wind increased in volicity and ferocity. The rain was fair pelting down.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"Half past nine" said Bon Jovi.
"Morning or evening?" I asked.
"Morning" replied Bon Jovi.
"How long have we been out of our beds?" I asked.
"Twenty minutes" said Bon Jovi.
I yawned, scratched my belly, broke wind violently and said.
"Our branes are tired. Lets go back to bed and get up at fore o'clock in the afternoon in time for the cartoons".
"That" said Bon Jovi.
"Is an excelant idea"
I walked with grate grace and decorum up the stairs and Bon Jovi crawled into his cardboard box.
Thinking kan take it out of you.
Soon mother and sun were asleep, perchance to dream and break wind with dunders of unparelled magnitude.
It was a wild bad day. A bad day for pee-wheets, paupers and people of a nervous disposition.