Tuesday 7 June 2011

Poor Auld Ireland

Deer Gerry, it has come to my retention that you will soon be oft again to far flung foreign plaices.
Gerry, you is a jet setter, a lotus eater, a modern day Samuel Aah Beckett, a man for all seasons.
I suppose you wool be nocking on the doors of Arab shrieks seeking sheckles, groats and spondulects for poor auld Ireland. Alas and alac, the land of saints and conmen is up a certain well known creek without a paddle. And apparently no wan is to blame!. All our money simply-disappeared. I suspect hands in the cookie jar but I kan't prove it.
Fintan O'Toole is fit to be tied. "Missmanagement! on a grand and epic scale" he yelled on Prime Time. Poor Miriam O'Callaghan, scared out of her wits cried.
"Fintan Achara, keep the heid".
"To hell with keeping the heid" yelled the bould Fintan.
"I want to sea bankers hanging from every lamp post in O'Connell street"
And now you kan't cut turf in the Free State! If auld Jordie Tuft lived in the Free State he wood be chained to the General Post Office by now. Soon they'll be banning donkeys, Irish dancing and the harvesting and husbanding of frogspawn. No more will the Irish Paddy or Bridget coo lovingly over a bowl of tadpoles.
Auld Mother McCree, Dicey Reilly and Molly Malone must be going hay wire in their graves.
'Tis a tarra hanlin' A tarra hanlin' If auld Develera was still around, this wood have killed him.
Any way, Bon Jovi and me wish you luck as you plough through the sands of the Sahara desert, begging bowl in hand. Them Arab Shrieks have tons of money. Tell them if they don't cough up you wool organise a concert tour starring, Daniel O'Donnell and Hugo Duncan. Let the world sea that Ireland has weapons of mass destruction and are knot afraid of launching a premptive strike.May saint Patrick dog your Italian footsteps and bring you safely home.
From, Rosie and Bon Jovi Ryan.
ERIN GO BRAUGH!!!

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