THE ANSWER IS OUT THERE.

'Twas on a pleasant, clement Autumnal morning that the occurance occured.
On the day in question by sun Bon Jovi and I were sitting round the hearth. Trying to figure out why dark matter exerted such a gravitational pull on the Universe.
"The answer is out there!" roared Bon Jovi.
"Yet for all my cyphering and complicated and wild Hi replied mathamatics the answer still eludes me.
I have squared pie until I am blew in the face".
"Did you remember to carry the wan?" I said.
Bon Jovi threw the coal shovel at me and roared.
"Why am I anchored, hobbled and shackled with a stupid old bag who could knot tell her einboga from her Uranus".
"Hauld on!" I yelled.
"Hauld on! Was it knot me who discovered dark matter, when a shower of suit fell down the chimney and attached itself to my visage with fierce magnetic energy?"
"SHUT UP!" roared Bon Jovi.
"How can I transport my brane to the edge of the Universe, if you are going to sit there gibbering and babbling like the Queen of the village idiots".
I leapt up and yelled.
"How dare you! How dare you, you grotesque gulpin.
By the hub caps of the star ship Enterprise I wool knock the big astroid head of you".
"Woe is me" yelled Bon Jovi.
"To have sprung from the lions of a head-banger like YOU!. Fate conspired that I sprang from a brane dead, red faced, zombie and knot the lions of Einstein, Hawkins or Patrick Moore".
I snapped and went for the cub with a child of Prague statue held above my head.
"Beam me up Scotty" roared Bon Jovi.
THEN! An awful bang and a strange scratching sound came from the roof.
"Aliens!" I yelled.
Bon Jovi and I ran out in some confusion and it must be said-fierce apprehension.
I took in the seen at once. A large cormorant and three roof slates lay on the ground. The oily black flying see bird must have bean flying low on automatic pilot when it ran into the roof of my abode. The cormorant lay on the broad of its back with both legs sticking up in the air.
Bon Jovi ran to the bird. Give it the kiss of life and a push and soon it was flying in a zig-zag manner towards Gortin and surrounding districts.
Bon Jovi looked up at the big whole in the roof and yelled to me.
"Don't just stand there Dumbo, get a ladder and fix the roof".
"I kan't climb a ladder" I cried.
"You no fine well I suffer from Gertie-Go".
"Gertie-Go my ant Sammy" roared Bon Jovi. "Stand back and I'll do it myself".
Bon Jovi climbed the ladder like a red-arsed baboon and soon had the slates back on the roof. As the cub stood admiring his Andy-Work he made a fatal mistake.
YES! The cub broke wind. The jet propulsion sent Bon Jovi forwards.
In an effort to regain his eek-way-lib-ray-um the cub over compensated by leaning too far backwards and fell of the roof with a sodden PLOP!.
"Ah, holy God" roared Bon Jovi.
"My two legs are broken in 18 places".
I ran to the fone. Know ambulance was to be had. With super human strength, I threw Bon Jovi into the wheel barrow and galloped the too mile to Clougher surgery. On the big downward hill that leads into Clougher. I lost control and mummy, sun and wheel barrow went careering through the surgery doors.
As I rolled and tumbled I shrieked.
"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! Cub in wheel barrow with injuries to the lower extremities".
After the doctor examined Bon Jovi he came to the collusion that there was nothing rong with the gulpin. In fact, the doctor called the cub a malingering, malignant knave.
Then the doctor took a look at and found I had slipped a disc in my back due to wheeling the gulpin two mile in a wheel barrow. On what the doctor laughingly called a wild cormorant chase.
The up shot was Bon Jovi had too wheel me home in the wheel barrow!.
As the son set in the West and heavy lumbering, weary crows made their way home. The expletives exchanged between mother and sun were, crude, vulgar, many and varied.