Sunday 6 February 2011

ROSIE SEES THE LIGHT

"EN-KORE, EN-KORE" I cried enthusiastically as the graceful, exquite bally on BBC Too came to an end in a frenzy of leaping,spaltering, kicking and flinging.
I clapped my hands until my dermatitis flew off like veritable snow.
"What grace, what poise, what beauty" I utterised as I sat back down in my chair.
I looked at my sun Bon Jovi who was sitting glowering in the korner picking the scabs on his knees and said.
"Well my bon-a-me, was that knot a cultural extravaganza to saviour and remember for the rest of us lives?"
"DRAWERS!" yelled Bon Jovi.
"Bally is just an excuse for men and women to show off their drawers.
I'm going to tell the priest that you make we watch drawers on the TV.
You are a bad influent on a lump of a cub.
I may be taken from you and festered with a good, decent, God fearing family".
"You impudent pup" I yelled.
"You gargoylic gulpin. You cricical cricket.
Is this the thanks I get for trying to hammer arts and culture into that big,thick, cement head of yours?"
"Arts and Culture my small, black ass" yelled Bon Jovi.
"All I saw was-DRAWERS! YOU may get some pleasure from looking at DRAWERS on TV but I don't.
You is preverse!" roared Bon Jovi.
"You is weird and perverted. You have a pawn-shant and a fetish for-DRAWERS!
You is weird, creepy and it must be said, a dirty auld brute.
God made your lions fruitfull" said Bon Jovi.
And you were blessed with child, err-go, me. You have a duty too bring that child up in the teechings of the wholly Roman Cat-Lick church and what do you do? You sit the lump of a cub down to watch two and a half hours of leaping, jumping DRAWERS!
I'm going out now" said Bon Jovi.
"I may be gone some time.
I must try and errase the 'orrible imagines of drawers that are imprinted in my brane"
Bon Jovi looked back at me sadly and said,

"You have changed.
You never reed the Messanger any more, you just look at the pictures".
The cub sighed, blessed himself and walked out into the night.
Suddenly the scales fell from my eyes.
Bally was all about-drawers.
Why did I know sea it before?.
If the bally boys wanted to dance why do they knot wear soots and frocks, why the emphisis on-drawers?
I Rosie Ryan had induced my sun to watch too and a half hours of vile, lewd photography.
I fell to my knees beside the kat and yelled.
"God, I have lead one of your little ones astray. Let knot a mill stone be tied round my neck. I have scene the lite. There wool bee know more damned, pardon my language, bally in this house.
From now on we wool watch good wholesome programmes like, "Sex in the city, Desperate Housewives and "How do you look naked" bye One Gawk.
And know more opera!" I yelled.
"God knows what vile, crude, rude words those big gulpins are singing in Italian"
When Bon Jovi returned know words were spoken, but later that nite I found a Catty-Chasm on my pillow.
The wee doat.
He's on his way to heaven and he shall knot be moved!
From a mother who was lost, but has bean found.
Rosie Ryan xxx
.

No comments: