IF HAPPINESS WAS AUTUMN LEAVES,I WOOD BE A FLOATER

Which of us no what life has in store for us? which of us no what tomorrow wool bring? which of us, kan look at their refraction in the mirror when they're shaving and say,
"The future holds know surprises for me, my life is laid out before me, from baby-grow two shroud". My life took an unexpexted turn last weak,gather round and listen, 'cause it happened 'thus
'Twas a day like any other day. Wednesday was its name, the day began like any other, waking up, breaking wind, rolling out of bed, gingerly lifting the too po's and running, would-land sprite like across the road and lashing the kontents, liquid and solids up against the telegram pole. Breakfast for too, me and my sun wee Bon Jovi, konsisting of tay and the buttered heels from pan loaves. Getting the cub off two skool, with cuffs round the ear and bribery.
Housework,sweeping the floor until it is devoid of dead and deceased vermin, rodents and insects. Washing, the bulk of the washing is usually drawers and kan be quite heavy when wet.
Lunch, once more, getting stuck into the tay and the heels of pan loaves.
The afternoon brings the arrival of Bon Jovi back from skool, I greet him with tay and more heels from pan loaves and make him do his homework by the use of cuffs round the lugs and bribery. Dinner, getting stuck into what ever road kill is available, supplemented by McCain's oven chips, why a boy wood want two give up a good chip shop two be President, beats me.
It was then occured the thing of singularity, that changed my life, the fates decreed that I be startled and it was preordained that the startler be--Chuck Corona.
Deer Chuck came through the bog roaring, "Ah I love the deep silver that shines in your hare".
Mother McCree, the unnofficial national anthem of Irish Immergrants, standing at the bar, yelling "Mother McCree" and drinking the money they should be sending home too their poor auld mother. Chuck bounded into the house like a giant panda, there was a sheen of sweat and
perpetuation on his rugged pox marked face,his eyes were glittering like a ferret, he was virtually dancing like a trained bare.
"Sit down Rosie" yelled Chuck, "Sit down my love, there is something of the utmost importance I must ask you, I am as nervous as a kat on a griddle, my bladders is threatening a tsueami and my bowls mite at any moment jettison a load.
Chuck fell two wan knee, I yelled, "MERCI". "ROSIE" yelled Chuck, "I want you two have-this" and he handed me a wee black box. "OH thank you Chuck" I gushed "I wool use it two keep wee things in". "KNOW" yelled Chuck "Open it, open it Rosie my deer".
I opened the box and was nearly blinded in the occulars by a multi-facated diamond, I stood there, gub agape. "ROSIE" roared Chuck, "Wool you marry me?"
I fell in a swoon, but knot before I had roared--"YES" sixteen thymes.
"We wool get married rite away" yelled Chuck, "I kan't wait to haul you over the threshold"
"KNOW Chuck" I screached, "We must wait a year, you no what the Clougher wans are like, they will say I am up the---with child" "If you insist my love" leered Chuck, "But we must tell the pop-u-lance of our grate news". "Leave that two me my deer" I said, "After Sonday, every wan wool no that Rosie Ryan has a "SOLD" sign hanging on her.
As the priest left the alter after mass, I seized my chance, I leaped too my feet and roared, "God, revernard Father, alter boys--and girls, ladies and gentlemen, I wool knot detain you, I no youse is in a hurry too get stuck into youse dinners, I am sure that many weeman here, have wee buns in the oven. I am hapy two report, that yersterday, about five past seven, Chuck Corona fell two wan knee and propositioned to me and youse wool be hapy to no that I recepted his proposition. Now before youse start to whisper behind your hands, let me state catalogeuly that this is knot, I repeat-KNOT a shotgun hanlin'. Marriage is sacred, marriage is preverse, marriage should knot be taken lightly--in short, marriage is know cod.
In a years thyme" I yelled "My hobnailed boots wool clip-clop up that isle and I Rosie Ryan, wool be bedecked in-white. My sun, wee Bon Jovi, ringworm permitting, wool give me away.
Me and Chuck Corona wool stand at that alter plighing us troughs, after that, any sexual nuptials engaged in later that nite, wool have the full konsent of the boys in the Vatican, when we say, "I do" that is the green lite and the stamp of approval from Peter's church. I leave you now, knowning I have your blessing and good wishes, I have a bottom drawer too fill with bedcloths, simmets and drawers. The disign of my wedding dress, is yet to be determined, but I kan tell you I will be arrayed in tull or taffada" You could have herd a pin drop. I strutted down the isle,with a clatter of hobnailed boots and a flourish of my mammy's brown duffle coat with the wooden toggles on it, as I made my way back too my abode, I kicked my legs like auld Mother Reilly and let shriek after shriek out of me. I was going to be married. Me, Rosie Ryan, the pride of Clougher and surrounding districts wood soon feel know fear going too confussions.
(After that, calm down by going to..www.greatshowlastweekkid. blogspot. com