DEER CHUCK HAS TROUBLE_DOWN YONDER

I stood and surveyed my andy work, twelve pears of newly washed bloomers dancing on the cloths line.It was knot easy getting them up, especiall when they are wet and heavy.
How colourfull they looked, an exotic extravagnisa, a veritable rainbow of drawers.
They brought colour and vitality two my drab cottage. My abode looked like the last outpost of the United Nations, the drawers of all nations flying in piece and harmony.
I suppose some could say that my home looked like a second-hand kar lot.
I stood with pride and looked at them, every pear of drawers I owned, were leaping and skipping the the gentle zephyr breeze that was blowing from Gortin and surrounding districts.
Little did the populance no, that I Rosie Ryan was going "commando" 'till the drawers dried.
I wood have two watch myself, know hand-stands, summer-salts or putting myself in the situitation that I mite take a cope, before I felt the reassurance of the restraining elastic round my belly-button.
I was just about too go indoors for a strong cup of tay and the buttered heel from a pan loaf, when I saw my too men coming threw the bog. 'Twas my bow, Chuck Corona and my sun Bon Jovi. "COOEEE" I cried like Mary Darling when she saw the tide turn.
Chuck and Bon Jovi were walking hand in hand, AAH, my hart swelled two brusting when I saw the too men in my life get on so well.
Bon Jovi was all excited, he was waving his arms and roaring "So I hit him a good thump on the side of the head and he went down like a bag of King Edwards"
"Good on you lad" said Chuck, "that's the plaice two hit them, behind the ear or the kidneys, I was always a kidney man myself"
The too men came up and stood admiring my drawers. "Bay God" said Chuck, There's enought elastic there too put a man on the moon"
Bon Jovi stood rubbing his chin, he looked at me with his good eye and said "do you think it's wise?" "What's wise" I guldered "What are you going on about?"
"Korrect me if i'm rong" said Bon Jovi, "you are the reciperent of Income Support or you know?"
"I am" I said "And I deserve every penny-if knot more"
"Imagine this" said Bon Jovi, "I am an Income Support boy going bye on a bicycle.
Suddenly, I sea a glut of gussets, hauld on" I say "hauld on, that woman is receiving Income Support and yet her line is virtually festooned with bloomers, something smells fishy here"
I ran like a deganged harpy, pulled seven pear of drawers off the line and replaced them with too auld gret army blankets with wholes in them.
What a cub, some-thymes I kan't believe that he sprang from my lions.
Later that nite, I plumped my slim 18stone body down on Chuck's nee and began two bite his ear. Chuck gasped and puffed like an auld accordian or the little train who couldn't.
I smiled at Chuck, flicked out my tongue like an iguna and teased him. I tickled him,chucked his Chucky chin, I groaped and pawed at him-but in a genteel, demure, ladylike way.
Chuck's squat round head was as red as a beetroot. Suddenly, he let a roar like a bull moose, I lept too my feet, Chuck tried two get up, crumpled and fell too the floor, where he rolled around holding his crutch. "Officer down" yelled Chuck "Officer down need assistance"
Bon Jovi rushed in and roared "Mammy, what have you done two Chuck Corona's fork?"
I shrieked, turned my back, brust out crying and pulled my skirt up two wipe my tears, forgetting that, below stairs I was-commando.
"Mummy" yelled Bon Jovi "put that ars bum away, this is know thyme too try and be funny"
A groin strain, the doctor said, but Chuck's knot in a plaster or anything. I wonder how it happened? He must have got up two quick, or pearhaps the fork of his trousers is two tite.
I must look into that.
Ah Lamore, you put a strain on the hart, a strain on the sole and a strain on the fork.
SOME HANLIN'