Thursday 15 May 2008

OUR FIRST UNNIVERSARY

Wednesday of last weak was Chuck's and me first inniversity. It was a year since the first thyme we went out. Deer Chuck took me out two celebrate the unniversity,he took me two the Duck and Weasel in Plumbridge. Its some plaic, you should sea it, all koncealed lighting and blew water in the bog. I was all dolled up in my good green frock, with the yella butterflies on it,in loo of handbag,I had Bon Jovi's Kar-Key skoolbag casually over my shoulder. Me turned some heads, Chuck was wearing a wild tite pear of "Dodge City" stone-washed genes and a lovely vivid,duck egg blew gansey with a foto of Charles Manson on the front.He looked--immaculate.
The meel was sumpusous, I don't know what it was, but I'll swear it was knot road kill. We had vegetables in all shapes and colours,the gravy was brown, but did knot appear two be Bisto, the spuds balls of flower and appeared two come from a foreign domain.
Deer Chuck clasped my hand and said "Rosie my love, hapy unniversity,you have made me the happiest man alive or dead" "Oh Chuck" I gushed "Before I met you I were nothing, nothing, do you heer me? I were a wretched varmit but you Chuck Corona, have opened the door of my hart and suppressed passion has brust out like guts out of a slaughered pig"
Chuck smiled at me and said, in honour of the occassion, you must have a cock-tail" "I told Chuck two keep his voice down or we wood be thrown out. When Chuck explained that a cock-tail is a mixxy-up drink,I gave a Hi genteel, demure, after dinner shriek and yelled, "Then you choose my love, my knowledge of cock-tails is restricted two the farmyard"
Chuck got me a flem-de-la-flem,it was green and gooey but I put her two my head. After a while I got a little tiddly and played footsie under the table with deer Chuck. I carressed his lite tan Hush Puppies with my jet black, newly half-soled, "Irish NAvvy" hob-nailed boots.
Then I got reagelly up two go too the crapper,all eyes were on me, as I SAUNTERED LIKE kATE mOSS with the kar-kee shoolbag swinging. Some boy roared out, "Hi, go home and do your homework" I laughed shrilly, cooed "Oh you" and hit him a thump up the gub.
On the way back home in the Skoda, Chuck whipped out--know, it was a too litre bottle of Iron Brue and a big bag of cheese and onion crisps. Chuck slipped in a DC of BArry White, as the big gulpin began two sing, I felt my hart race and spasoms shooting up my rite nee.
All was lost--utterely lost, when the big brute began two gulder, "YOu're my first, you're my last, you're my everything"
Ah-lamore, you flutter the tendrils of my passion and unlease the hounds of lust.

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