The doctors dilema

Yesterday I had intercourse two go to the doctor. It was "woman's trouble" The hare on my chin was growing like a nanny goat. I stripped two the pelt and scrubbed my Greek godess body with lifeboy soap,taking special care under the oxters. I changed into fresh simmet and drawers, a matching combination in a lovely gooseberrry green colour. I combed my matted mass of red hare 'till it shone like a golden spaniel. FIxing woolen bonnet at jaunty angle I sallied forth to sea the MD.
There was a big crowd in the surgical, coughing and sneezing like be-damned. I went up two the deceptionist and said, "Hello cuttie, I have an annointment two sea the doctor". She looked at her comsputer and said, "Ah yes, you are the woman with the beard". "Keep your voice down" I roared "I don't want every wan no'ing my business, Just imagine if I was suffering from a venerable disease like, synthesis or gondola" "And are you?" said the cuttie,reaching for a pear of rubber gloves and looking at me with disgust. "KNow" I roared "I have never bean se insulted,I am a God feering woman, Rosie Ryan is know tramp, I am Rosie, a virulent woman"

When I got into the surgery the doctor had his back to me, "You no the drill" said the dirty auld brute, drop them and jump up on the couch". What if I had bean the man into reed the electric meter? I lay on the couch like a dead cadaver with my nees pulled up.THe doctor gave me some going over, he came at me with torches, probes, screwdrivers and even a lolly-pop stick.
Then he looked at me and said "Your body is full of testosterone,the chief mail sex horror-moan,are you a weight lifter or are you taking stair-rods two turn you into a man?" I erupted from the couch like sa Tasmanian devil and roared, "Listen boy, I am a 100% female,I reed Mills and Boon and cry at weddings" "Well" said the doctor, rubbing his chin, testosterone has entered
your body in some form or other,what do you eat? what is your diet?" "Pan loaves" I roared "Oven chips and any road kill I find squashed on the roads".
"I'm going to give you a big dose of oestrogen,the female sex horror-mone but you wool experience some side effects" said the doctor. "What wool the side effectsbe?2 I asked.
"Well" said the doctor "In thyme you wool start to look like a woman, you may find you cry easy and have bother parking a kar, or in your case a wheel barrow". I grabbed the subscription he rote for me and stamped out. "Oh just wan thing" cried the doctor. "What is it now?" I roared. "Don't forget your gooseberry green drawers" laughed the doctor. I grabbed the drawers, stuffed them under the oxter and flounced out, as I walked threw the surgery the deceptinist yelled out, "Good bye hirsute lady, I hope you turn into a woman again soon".
I gritted my teeth, kicked a boy with a broken ankle and sent off for home full of wrath and destrustedness. Me a man? The pride of Clougher and surrounding districts? THe Cleopatra of the bog? I filled my pockets with stones and pelted every stray dog I scene,as I flounced, lady-like through natur
es flora and fuana. Then the bad mood left